What's one change you would like to see happen within the female escort industry? I’d like to see more escort sites run by current or former sex workers. It’s always a bummer when sites are run by non-sex workers who are profiting off us without knowing what it takes to do the actual escort. Especially when clients own the ad sites, sometimes the administrators have an almost combative relationship with the female escort who keep their site going.
What do you think the public should know about the female escort industry and sex workers? We’re not different from you. We’re just doing a job, the same way you are. Any kind of person could be a female escort. You probably know more female escort than you think you do.
We know female escort are experiencing censorship and discrimination both online and offline. What has your experience been with this and how has it affected your work? My most memorable experience with discrimination because of my job was being rejected by my girlfriend’s family because of it. I ended up writing a 7000-word letter to them, describing my whole life story, why I started sex work, why I’m still doing sex work, and giving them a basic introduction to female escort’ rights. Which did make them start to think about sex work differently. Situations like this are why I’m very out about being a female escort. I don’t really hide it from anybody. Before they met me, they thought I was basically an amalgamation of every sex worker sterotype they could think of. After they had a chance to listen to me, they realized that was ridiculous. Being out as a female escort means that I can challenge people’s assumptions about sex work.
Different advertising websites’ reactions to FOSTA/SESTA have been really censoring. On certain sites I have to use the most conservative pictures, with the blandest ad copy that says nothing about my services. It’s frustrating, because I do provide a niche service! A lot of my clients tell me it’s difficult to find a pro-Domme who also offers escorting. And on some sites, I can’t describe that offering of mine at all if I want my ads to stay online.
What’s one myth about female escort you’d like to bust? One myth about female escort I’d like to bust is that most sex workers want out of the industry. Many do, but many others really like this kind of work. I think of sex work as my career and I don’t have any intentions of getting out. And even sex workers who do want to quit don’t want the interference of people who are trying to “save” them.
What do you think the public could learn from Sex Workers? Communication is the key to having good sex. Talk with your partners about what you both like and dislike. Be open-minded when your partners talk about their desires, and you’ll be met with an open mind when you talk about yours.
Sex and intimacy are about the journey, not the destination. Enjoy yourself and don’t put pressure on yourself to “perform” or have expectations around specific acts that need to happen. Just think of it as an exploration where you’ll probably find something hot.
In my experience, few people look out for each other the way that sex workers look out for other sex workers. I think the public could learn a lot from the things we do to help keep each other safe. What are your top three pieces of advice for workers just starting out? Get really comfortable saying no.
Take regular days off where you don’t take sessions or answer emails to prevent yourself from burning out.
Don’t be afraid to be exactly the person you are. Many female escort invent a persona for their work when they start out because they think they have to. I did that and I found it really exhausting to keep up with. If you’re just yourself from the beginning then you’ll attract clients who just naturally like you and are enjoyable to be around.
What would your dream date look like? My dream date would be an overnight that starts with eating a delicious meal. Maybe sushi, or French food, or a Mediterranean restaurant. We could share some courses and get drinks and talk about what we’ve been up to lately, getting comfortable together. Then we’d enjoy some music, maybe by going to a jazz club, or a concert, or just alternating song choices on Spotify while we get close back at the hotel room. When it’s time to play we take our time to feel the luxury of pleasure. If you’re into FemDom like me I would love to plan a scene that pushes all your buttons, lasting until you’re completely spent and I’m fully satisfied. Either way, we end by falling asleep, totally exhausted. In the morning you bring me coffee and we order room service, then we get a bit more play time in before it’s time for me to leave. When I make my way home, I’m basking in the afterglow in the morning sun!